Feeling Fucked Up.

It's Been 38 Days Since the Mountain Fell On Me.

And I am starting to have panic attacks. Panic, anxiety, I don't know which, but it's occurring about 2-3 times a week. The first time I noticed it, was when I was started to do some school work. I need to get this figured out before the school year starts. I am taking a class now, I was thinking about dropping it, but I think it will be a safe space for me to get my SCHOOL MIND back together.

I found my dad's hard drive he left here. I've been avoiding opening it. I don't know why. I want to know what he saved, what he found important. But I wonder if there needs to be something sacred?? Something that he kept secret to himself. I will probably open it... later.

I keep finding pieces of Pop everywhere. Stuff he left, oils, papers, pictures, cups, drinks among other things.   I'm going back to therapy this week. He put me on a stringer sleep aid, so I could finally get some sleep, it seems to be working. Well, working better than nothing, I now fall asleep around 1-2am instead of 4-6am, so I guess it's a start. Ok, rambling, just wanted to write so I kept in the idea, and space and habit of writing, so nothing gets too bottled up.

DAY 7 OF CLIMBING THE MOUNTAIN

and I've decided to try to climb again